confession of a photographer...

when you ask me to photograph your event or create your portrait, there is something that happens behind the scenes that you probably don't realize.

a person can say anything, but their body language and facial expressions can rarely hold up a poker face for a whole portrait session or 12 hour wedding day. sooner or later, your photographer is going to get you to crack and catch that personality, that light that is your individuality. those are the photos that you're going to giggle over and love. that's our job--to capture the "real" you and reflect it back.

you probably get that and are right now saying, "exactly! that's why i hired you!" well, not only do we work during our sessions to get you to show us that spark, but your photographer spends hours editing and discovering your many expressions... we learn every line, every freckle, every movement... of YOU. we spend a little time with you and then we bring you into our offices, our living rooms, our special work spots and we extract the best photos... we find your wedding day joy, your unabashed parade enthusiasm, your job or hobby passions, your love and pride in your family.

i've always said that editing is a very personal activity. i've tried to explain to people just how well i feel i know a bride after one full day and night with her, even though i would barely recognize her in street clothes. photos are personal--more personal than i ever anticipated. not only do i see the good ones, i also see those goofy faces that you want me to delete. that's not a bad thing--that is my job and you rely on my tact, as well as my taste. but frankly, i get to know you better than either of us expected.

today, i learned that someone i met only twice, and photographed both times, passed away unexpectedly.

i had no idea it would feel like this. i have to keep reminding myself that i didn't really know him. but it FEELS like i did. i have more than 4 hours of shots of him when he knew i was photographing him...  and when he forgot i was photographing him. i spent hours looking at his face to find the pictures that reflected what i believe you can only recognize by intuition and experience as the highlights of someone's personality. i still have a few photos of him that i haven't edited.

and now, he's gone.

i didn't expect this deep sorrow. it has caught me completely off guard. most immediately his passing has reminded me to live in the now, without regrets, and to stop postponing things that are important to me.

but, it also has reminded me that photography is my gift to you and yours, and i offer it with tremendous respect.