happy thanksgiving...

wishing you all a lovely thanksgiving.

i'm thankful for you, my friends and family, and all the opportunities that i've had this year! 

the horoscope lottery...

yesterday, my horoscope told me to bury myself in my own little world, maybe with music. i took that to mean, put your earbuds in and stay low and quiet.

the writer of the horoscopes for yahoo is one of my favourite writers ever. whoever it is has a great sense of humour and doesn't write the normal horoscope drabble. this person sees me in my grey cubicle land and knows that i need a schnibbit that i can relate with and giggle over.

this person is a real person who has obviously spent time in the real world with the rat race, like the rest of us.

and before you ask, NO, i do not make my life decisions based on the horoscope. i know that i have posted previously some of the horoscopes that have really struck either my funny bone or nailed the day i was having.

i tend to think of it as a little lottery that i play a few times a week--free and fun. yesterday with the earbuds and shut-up, for instance, was dead on. i was snarky and sassy all morning. with that attitude leading my morning, reading that made me laugh and burst the dark cloud that had been hanging over my day--a lottery win!

so, let's laugh about today, because this means absolutely nothing to me. i played a dollar on the scratch off and won a dollar.

however, the whole amoeba analogy is honestly a hoot and whoever you are horoscope writer person... we should do lunch... and buy some lottery tickets.
________
If there's something you're good at, it's knowing when it's time to take a little break from the go-go-go world and spend some time turning the microscope of the mind on yourself. What do you see? Little emotions floating around like amoebas? Changing form? Merging, separating and doing their little amoeba thing? What emotions are those that you're seeing under the glass, do you think? Hmm?
_________

compassion and wisdom...

as a buddhist, i am always striving to reach a balance between compassion and wisdom. i learned at a retreat that each of us is strong in one or the other. really? i was not humble. my inner voice told me that i was secretly much closer to balance than most.

oh brother, thank goodness i never verbalized such hooey. i do, after reflection, think that i am a little heavy on the compassion wing. i say wing because we were told to think of compassion and wisdom as two wings of a bird. if one is heavy, the bird cannot fly, thus the balance we strive to achieve.

so it follows that daily i struggle for balance, and on some days, i'm closer than others. today was not one of those days. today was full of challenges--heavy turbulence, if you will.

all day i could hear my inner voice reminding me to breathe, reminding me that this person who is bugging me is struggling through his day just like me, reminding me to be patient, be mindful, be compassionate.

it is more difficult than i thought--to fly.

did you vote?

i voted. i love voting. i may be a little weird.

i went before work and it wasn't too busy because i don't go to work tooooo early. it was brisk and the leaves were heavy in the church parking lot. i sort of bounded into the cafeteria of the little church on the corner with the snappy sunday signs, that say things like, contrary to popular belief, i love everyone--God.

voting is festive. the people freezing out in front with last minute pamphlets for me are smiling and peppy. the neighbors who rarely give me a passing glance return my hello and follow up with a good old-fashioned "how do you do?" there is giggling in the line and snappy banter with the election workers.

it is fun, but it feels equally sacred. after i sign in and i get into line for the machine, there is an understood nod between me and the person ahead of me. there might be a hushed whisper, but it's very serious business at that point.

taking my place in front of the machine--it's like getting my driver's license all over again. everyone double checks to make sure that we are doing it right. i don't want to screw up! many of us linger to read everything completely so that we feel sure we understand. there is the sound of the electronic "tabs" while i hold my breath.

then the machine asks if i want to submit my ballot? saying yes is a most empowering moment. you, i, we get to voice our choice--something that not everyone has a right to.

we may not see the outcome we individually hoped for, but hitting submit says something. for me, it said, i am an American and i care. i care enough to speak my mind.

i voted.

wait, wait...

there isn't enough time. i took a bunch of days off in october to do the things i wanted and needed to... but, it was the same old story. i never stopped, and i didn't accomplish what i set out to accomplish. even i am tired of my constant recommittment and revised lists. i mean, come onnnnnnn!

october was splendid and delightful and painful and sad and creative and fun--a pretty full plate with all the food groups represented.

and now, it's november.

sigh.
 
time is passing quickly and dreams are fading in the rear view mirror. but, there are new dreams forming ahead at the top of the next hill. i'm grateful for that. i am grateful for the multifaceted life i lead beyond my gray walled cubicle.

i'm not ruling out anything yet. i'm looking forward.

and, i'm making a new list. who knows? maybe this time i will cross off a big one?!